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Saturday, April 06, 2002
Uncle George sent me this several days ago, but I haven't had a chance to post it until now. I think Blogger has been having problems lately, as both Uncle George and I have been having login problems lately.
Anyway, here's the story:
Think you're Having a Bad Day???
If So? Read on.......
If not, just remember this story if you do........
Two hunters from Michigan--(true story)
This is from a radio program, a true report of an incident in Michigan.
A guy buys a brand new Lincoln Navigator for $42,500 and has $560
monthly payments. He and a friend go duck hunting in winter, and of course
all the lakes are frozen. These two guys go out on the lake with the guns,
the dog, and the new vehicle.
They drive out onto the lake ice and get ready.
Now, they want to make some kind of a natural landing area for the ducks,
something for the decoys to float on. In order to make a hole large
enough to look like something a wandering duck would fly down and land
on, it is going to take a little more effort than an ice hole drill.
So, out of the back of the new Navigator comes a stick of dynamite
with a short, 40-second fuse. Now these two Rocket Scientists do take into
consideration that they want to place the stick of dynamite on the ice at
a location far from where they are standing (and the new Navigator),
because they don't want to take the risk of slipping on the ice when
they run from the burning fuse and possibly go up in smoke with the resulting blast.
They light the 40-second fuse and throw the dynamite. Remember a
couple of paragraphs back when I mentioned the vehicle, the guns and the dog?
Let's talk about the dog: A highly trained Black Lab used for RETRIEVING.
Especially things thrown by the owner.
You guessed it, the dog takes off at a high rate of doggy speed on the ice
and captures the stick of dynamite with the burning 40-second fuse
about the time it hits the ice. The two men yell, scream, wave their arms
and wonder what to do now. The dog, cheered on, keeps coming. One of the guys
grabs the shotgun and shoots the dog. The shotgun is loaded with # 6 birdshot, hardly
big enough to stop a Black Lab. The dog stops for a moment, slightly confused, but continues
on. Another shot and this time the dog, still standing, becomes really confused and of course
terrified, thinking these two geniuses have gone insane.
The dog takes off to find cover, under the brand new Navigator.
----BOOM!---- Dog and Navigator are blown to bits and sink to the bottom of the lake
in a very large hole, leaving the two idiots standing there with this "I
can't believe this happened" look on their faces.
The insurance company says that sinking a vehicle in a lake by illegal use
of explosives is not covered. He still had yet to make the first of those
$560 a month payments!
And you thought you were having a bad day.
.: posted by andy 4/6/2002
Friday, April 05, 2002
How has Israel violated the Geneva Conventions? Let me count the ways:
1) Targetting of Palestinians for assassination. {Protocol I, Part IV, Article 75 Section 4} I especially think that using a helicopter-launched rocket to attempt to kill a suspect like they did today violates subsection e, the right to be present at one's own trial. In light of the 11-year old boy who was burned on 90% of his body in that rocket attack, I think it could be argued that they violated Protocol I, Article 57, Section 5, subsection b, since they were aiming at a single person in a busy intersection using high explosives.
2)Deportations or movement of individuals or populations, either into or out of occupied territories, which would apply to both the Israeli "settlers" and to the hundreds of Palestinians being taken to Israel. {Fourth Convention, Section 3, Article 49}
3) Bulldozing houses of suspected terrorists/suicide bombers/police. {Protocol I, Article 52, Sections 1-2 also Fourth Convention, Article 53}
4) I'm not so sure that killing elected public officials was what the drafters had in mind in the Fourth Convention, Article 54.
5) The Israeli army occupying the West Bank is now targetting European and American journalists. {Protocol I, Part IV, Chapter 3, Article 79}
This is turning into too much work. Every time I read a section of the Conventions, I find more violations. I've realized that every single act Isreal has carried out or contemplated which makes me mad is a violation of the Conventions and Protocol.
.: posted by Grand Inquisitor Fnord Moco 4/5/2002
.: posted by Grand Inquisitor Fnord Moco 4/5/2002
She looks like she could kick my ass.
.: posted by Grand Inquisitor Fnord Moco 4/5/2002
Thursday, April 04, 2002
We're so much more international than I would have thought.
Oh, and the most popular search engine reference that points to flooz is 'White Resistance Manual'. Scary.
.: posted by Grand Inquisitor Fnord Moco 4/4/2002
This afternoon I stopped at a farm off I-35 where there's going to be an auction on Saturday.
It's a typical farm auction; tractors, farm equipment, trailers, trucks, tools, racks, and junk. This is a pretty big auction, lots of large equipment, 6 tractors, 20 or so wagons and trailers, a couple dozen pieces of farm equipment, the strange items that show up at these sales, like a late 50's 2 ton truck with a winch and boom, a steel wheeled caterpillar road grater, originally horse drawn, converted to be pulled by a tractor. A hand wound electric motor, 3 hp, patented in 1890 and 1903. 8 5-gallon buckets of something, probably paint, still sealed, with the labels turning to dust. Pallets of knicknacks and antiques of all different sizes. A steel wheeled wheelbarrow, milk cans, bric a brac of all flavors. A 13 inch bandsaw, still sealed in plastic and in the same wood shipping carton it came on the truck in.
They aren't selling the house or the land, and are saving back a few tools, so it's hard to tell what happened. When they auction the house and property, it means that the old couple died, and the kids don't want to mess with it, don't even want to list the house for sale, even though it'd bring more money than at auction. Sometimes just the husband dies, and the wife can't or doesn't want to manage out in the country, and moves to town, moves in with the children.
Maybe he just retired, got out of the farming business. That's not very likely. He wouldn't sell everything, not that antique motor, not the piles of bolts and widgets that you always need. Not the bandsaw unopened. He wouldn't have ordered it if he had been thinking he was going to sell everything.
It takes a lifetime for a man to accumulate all these things, and a day to sell them.
.: posted by Grand Inquisitor Fnord Moco 4/4/2002
so these japanese scientist have invented this handy cup (referring to jeremy`s "good idea"). interesting considering there's no such thing as refills in japan--at least not on my island. you can order another drink, whereby they take your glass away and replace it with a new one. something tells me, this wasn`t invented for the japanese market.
oh yea, and how is it that julian`s got me beat out for number of hits.. hmmm. think i`ll just randomly click on flooz 3 times a day to win this race. hehe.
.: posted by aida 4/4/2002
"The taste is inferior but the alcohol content is the same."
Talk about a strong selling point.
.: posted by Grand Inquisitor Fnord Moco 4/4/2002
.: posted by Jeremy 4/4/2002
Wednesday, April 03, 2002
I'd just like to give a big shout out to all my homies in Grenoble, France. You know who you are, Julien.
.: posted by Jeremy 4/3/2002
Monday, April 01, 2002
I'm not a de facto Bush-hater, but I sure did get a kick out of this site today, which suggests that Jeb Bush will be evicted from the Florida Governor's Mansion because his daughter has been convicted of some drug-related thing or another. This is in light of this terrible Supreme Court ruling. In case your mouse is broken, or your attention span is as short as mine, the gist of the ruling is that if a resident of public housing is arrested on drug-related charges, he and everyone living in his housing unit can be evicted. In other words, if Beth and I lived in Public Housing, and my crack-habit got me crosswise with the law, she and I and the dogs and the cats could all be evicted in one fell swoop, with no recourse. Similarly, if you and your Granny lived in public housing, and you were arrested for misdemeanor possession, you and your Granny could both be out on the street. Evidently your Granny is a threat to the entire neighborhood if she can't control the events within her own household. Even if there are not now and never have been drugs or drug-use in your Granny's household, she could be evicted if you get busted smoking out behind your buddy's garage. Evidently your Granny is a threat to the entire neighborhood if she can't control every aspect of your life even when you're on the other side of town. Maybe I'm missing some vital part of the story, but that's how I interpret the ruling based on what I've read, and I'm at work right now, so I don't have time to look it up.
Something about Halliburton.
.: posted by andy 4/1/2002
I'm at work, and I figured the onion would have something funny, like factual, non-satirical news, since it's april first. But I can't access the onion, and this is the reason why:
Access to this web page is restricted at this time.
Reason:
The Websense category "Alternative Journals" is filtered.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
URL:
http://www.theonion.com/
.: posted by Jeremy 4/1/2002
Panic Room is pretty good. If you've seen the preview, you've seen the first 30 minutes of the movie, but I expected it to be more predictable than it was. Not bad all in all for a straight forward thriller. An example of what might happen if one of Andy's multimillion dollar heists goes a little bit wrong.
Death to Smoochy is awesome. Very fast paced, always a twist, a dark comedy with a happy ending. Think Snatch revolving around the cut-throat world of kiddie teevee instead of underground boxing. Man, I wish I could be in the Irish mob. And this is the first movie I've ever seen with an ice opera in it. Don't let the first 5 minutes scare you; they're just trying to set up the background.
Oh, I almost forgot about Blade 2. Eh. Not very interesting. Blade came out about the same time as The Matrix and used a lot of the same revolutionary technology. Like The Matrix it was also very good at creating mood, and was very well put together. Blade 2 uses the same tricks as in the original, only the mood is undeveloped, the characters completely flat, and plot dull. Save your money, buy Blade used on DVD from blockbuster and watch it again instead. If you think you absolutely must see Blade 2, jump to the fight scenes in the original and watch them at double speed.
The fellow sleeping on my couch rented The One the other day and we watched it. It had the same flaws as Blade 2. They used all the same tricks that every action flick since The Matrix has; no innovation. Oh, wait; they speed up the computer enhanced fight scenes. That's the great special effects innovation.
.: posted by Grand Inquisitor Fnord Moco 4/1/2002
.: posted by Grand Inquisitor Fnord Moco 4/1/2002
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