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Today's Fortune: |
   
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Saturday, March 30, 2002
Shawn bought a Passat two weeks ago. I got the WRX yesterday. We took 5 pictures today before the batteries in my camera went dead.
.: posted by Jeremy 3/30/2002
Thursday, March 28, 2002
So you're complaining because your loan check wasn't stolen?
Did the Jews kill Jesus? Tomorrow night at 10PM Barbara Walters is going to ask Abdullah bin Laden. Apparently this is to show that he's an antisemite. The answer seemed straightforward to me, but I thought I'd check it out. The best refutation I could find only addressed whether a Jewish high court sentenced him to death, and blamed the Romans, but weren't most Romans in Jerusalem Jews? In the process I found this. Kinky Friedman rocks. Too bad I can't afford the $125 a plate fund raiser for Utopia Resue Ranch.
.: posted by Grand Inquisitor Fnord Moco 3/28/2002
I think blogger may be sneaking lame ads onto our site.
Yesterday, when I decided I'd rather just go ahead and trade in my car rather than pay the 500 bucks for labor that Pep boys wanted to replace the leaking freeze plug, I called eloan so that they would overnight me my loan package. I had to run some errands after work, so I didn't get back here until about 9:00pm. When I got here there was a note stuck in my door from my apartment complex management saying "The management team at Thornbury(the apt complex) would like to advise you of incidents that have occurred in our area. Residents of Thornbury as well as other surrounding communities have been victims of personal theft." That in and of itself wouldn't have really concerned me, since this is an apartment complex in Houston. The problem was what was lying at the foot of my front door. It was the overnighted loan package from eloan, by way of Airborne Express. Inside this envelope is what amounts to a blank check that can be written for up to 25 thousand dollars. I didn't get home until 9:00pm, so I'm thinking that has been sitting at my door for at least 5 hours now. Have these people ever heard of leaving packages with the apartment complex office??
.: posted by Jeremy 3/28/2002
Wednesday, March 27, 2002
This man served six months in prison and is now being deported for lying on a loan application. Oh, also, he already repaid the loan. Let the punishment fit the crime, I always say. There were rumors that he was sending money to the Taliban, but those rumors were never substantiated. He claims to have sent the money to his wife and children, a story I find very likely.
If all the people who ever lied on a loan application were deported, I'll bet we'd have to hold emergency elections to fill all the vacant slots in Congress. Hell, Clinton perjured himself and we still let him be President of the United States of America.
.: posted by andy 3/27/2002
We're arming the borders. This looks to me like the first step in our campaign to free the Candian people from those vicious terrorists, the Quebecers.
.: posted by Grand Inquisitor Fnord Moco 3/27/2002
Tuesday, March 26, 2002
Imagine filling a room with bubbles. Now imagine that those bubbles are unpoppable. And now imagine that the room is that of your worst enemy.
In my case, I imagine filling Jeremy's apartment with these bubbles. I wonder if, given a high enough concentration of bubbles, they pose an asphyxiation hazard. I wonder if anyone has thought about this. Because if they do pose a choking hazard, we floozers should draw straws. Whoever gets the shortest straw (unless it's me, in which case we'll look for the second shortest straw) will either inhale an unpoppable bubble, or else will be trapped in a bubble-intensive environment, until his/her body uses up all the available oxygen. Then the rest of us will sue on behalf of the deceased, and retire fat, dumb, happy, and young. Because that's really the American dream, isn't it?
.: posted by andy 3/26/2002
Monday, March 25, 2002
CNN.com has done a follow up story to this event of great national import.
Israel is considering final solutions to the palestinian question, and at the top of CNN's list of U.S. news headlines is a follow up story about the infected scars of somebody's weiner dog.
.: posted by Jeremy 3/25/2002
"I can't help it, I just like jabbing people with needles."
.: posted by Grand Inquisitor Fnord Moco 3/25/2002
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